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Parents Should Force Their Children To Do Different Kinds Of Activities

Link: http://www.createdebate.com/debate/show/Parents_Should_Force_Their_Children_To_Do_Different_Kinds_Of_Activities

-Filzah Syazwani

TV Media on Child Development

The Oompa-Loompas’ cautionary song about the hypnotic effects of television on children may have seemed alarmist in 1964 when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was first published, but now its lyrics seem almost understated. In Roald Dahl’s story, television addict Mike Teavee pays for his obsession by getting shrunk to the size of an actor on a television screen. Dahl exaggerates the effects of excessive viewing, but for children glued to media screens today, the consequences may be more insidious and just as hazardous.
Decades of research have established that television and other screen media—movies, the Internet, and video games—constitute a powerful environmental influence on children’s health and development, according to the Center on Media and Child Health at Children’s Hospital Boston. American children aged 8 to 18 spend an average of 6 hours and 21 minutes daily using media—more time than they spend in school or with their parents. And the risks of so much time spent in thrall to their screens are serious.

More than 2,200 studies have linked media use and aggressive behavior. By age 18, a child will, on average, have witnessed 200,000 acts of violence, including 18,000 murders. Children’s programs—shows that one would expect to be free of violence—average 14 violent acts per hour, 8 more than adult programs. For adolescents, the influence of violence in media may even prove fatal: the top three causes of death among 15- to 19-year-olds all involve accidental or intended violence.

http://www.cleancutmedia.com/tv-shows/tv-medias-influence-on-child-development

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Parental Responsibility for Children’s Behaviors

Yes.

I read a quote this week that jumped from the page into my reality in such a way that I felt compelled to write an article about it. There are times when the written word read in the right way at the right time, can make you feel like it is meant specifically for you. This week, that quote for me was: “If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.” — Carl Jung

I believe it to be in our human nature to explain away our negative qualities, excusing them or justifying them so that we are not responsible for them. It is easy to remove the responsibility from ourselves, and make it the result of someone or something else. When this tendency finds a home among our children’s behaviors, however, it is something that should be addressed.

I cannot tell you the number of times parents have come into my office asking me to “fix their child”. They give me a list of things that are “wrong” with the child and hope that I can produce major results in a short time frame. While there are some issues that are biologically or chemically rooted, most of the concerns that parents bring are confounded by their own actions.

To start, children are like sponges that absorb everything around them, for better or worse. When children witness parents behaving or acting in response to situations, they learn from those experiences. In the psychological world, it is called “modeling” when a child learns from observing others. Therefore, every action and behavior that you demonstrate teaches your child about how to function in the world.

Additionally, it seems as though the behaviors in children that most bother parents are those that reflect their own shortcomings. In other words, parents who complain about their kids having negative attitudes tend to struggle with negative attitudes themselves. High-strung parents who have anxious and stressed children whom they wish were more laid back often miss the effect that they are having on those very behaviors.

Finally, children are only products of their environments, experiences, and observations. We cannot possibly expect children to know to act differently than what they witness. It takes courage and humility to look at our children’s behaviors and question how it relates to our own. If we notice low self-esteem in our kids, do we acknowledge it in ourselves? Anger issues, aggressive behavior, shyness, mistrust, pushiness or bossiness – they are learning them from somewhere.

The influence we have as parents is monumental. It is easy to disregard our impact, or find someone else with whom our children spend time that is effecting them in a negative manner. However, the reality is that no one will ever have as great of an impact as we do on our children. Lessons learned will stay with them forever, the ones of which we are proud and the ones we wish we could do over again.

Although it can feel overwhelming to be the perfect parents, it is really just a matter of being aware of what behaviors we exhibit. Many of the things that our children witness from us teach them healthy, appropriate ways to handle situations. It takes a conscious act of the will to monitor what we choose to display to our children. However, the first step is recognizing what behaviors need to be modified within ourselves. Then, we must choose to accept responsibility for our influence in our children’s behaviors. And finally, we will need to admit that we cannot pathologize our kids when we have contributed to those concerns.

http://thekidcounselor.com/articles/parental-responsibility-for-childrens-behaviors/

KIDS REACT TO HONEY BOO BOO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW5kIRfbgnc

Parents treats children like pets!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7V5lbllg_M

Published on Sep 13, 2012

In this setting we see a mom out on the day with her young kids trying to do some shopping...the only problem is she's got a tag and whip on them and treating them like dogs! Will the public who sees this unfit parent say anything?

Are Parents To Be Blamed For Misbehaved Children?

When a child misbehaves, those around him typically look for someone or something to blame. The temptation to target unfair teachers, out-of-touch administrators and unreasonable coaches for asking more of a child than what he can deliver is a big one. The most important question that needs asking is, are parents primarily to blame when their children misbehave? Looking at different parenting styles, issues and struggles can help answer that question.

Best Friend Complex

One of the most difficult areas of parenting is finding balance between being your child’s friend and being a parent. The parent who wants to be a child’s best friend is a parent who avoids conflict at all costs. Avoiding conflict with children simply puts the responsibility for discipline on other adults in the child’s life. This creates a “no-win” situation for teachers and other care givers. Having a parenting plan can help. Focus on the Family recommends parents avoid conflicts before they arise by focusing their children’s attention in positive ways. Although planning every moment of a child’s day is impossible, giving your child clear expectations and time lines for the things that you want him to do gives him fewer opportunities to get out of bounds. Raising a child involves both loving him and teaching him to be responsible, kind and respectful to others. Attempting to do this by avoiding conflict and being only his friend is a recipe for misbehavior.

 

Inconsistency

Children are constantly watching and listening to their parents for areas of inconsistency. Siblings always remember who got what and when. Failing to follow through with a punishment or reward when it is promised almost guarantees some type of misbehavior. Children may react through disrespectful words to their parents, temper tantrums and other bad behaviors. When this happens, they are testing their parents' resolve and are learning how to push the limits. Setting boundaries and being consistent from the beginning is especially important. When toddlers and preschoolers know their parents always keep their promises, both with positive rewards and appropriate punishment, those children learn quickly what happens when they push against those boundaries. Boundaries change and grow as children change and grow, but the key is consistency if your goal is to prevent misbehavior in your children.

Power Struggles

Power struggles are also a big problem when it comes to misbehaving children, and these can begin as early as age 2. Power struggles are your child’s way of communicating that he knows he has some control over himself and his destiny. Power struggles, especially in younger children, can also be a message that your child needs to feel a better sense of belonging or significance. Struggles over seemingly insignificant issues can come as a surprise if you are not in tune with your child’s emotional state of mind most of the time. Being aware of his need to mature and take on more responsibility can help curb power struggles. But being clear about choices and consequences is important. Just because your child is feeling “less than,” does not give him permission to break the rules or be disrespectful. Understanding his needs is not a substitute for consistency when it comes to your expectations for his behavior.

Behavior Problems

Identifying a behavior problem in your child as opposed to his bad choices is important. Children with behavior problems are unable to make consistently good choices even though they know and understand the house rules, classroom rules, and overall expectations from you and other adults. Parents of children with behavior problems may have tried getting help from teachers, school administrators and friends without seeing any improvement. A formal assessment by a mental health expert can help you determine the cause of your child’s misbehavior and get an appropriate treatment plan in place.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/562037-are-parents-to-blame-for-misbehaved-children/#ixzz2QaH7pT9a

Challenging Behavior in Young Children

Are Parents to be Blamed if Their Children Misbehave?

http://www.bukisa.com/articles/383316_are-parents-to-be-blamed-if-their-children-misbehave

"It is the parents' responsibility to teach the child at home. As parents, we should be both a teacher and a provider to our children. Parents must have all the time to talk to their children and not leave their children alone to fend to themselves. It is every parent’s duty to discipline his child. Children have individual differences and must be carefully assessed. There are children who need to be flattered or be talked to in order to behave and there are those who need an iron hand in order to behave. The kind of discipline that the child has learned from home plus the different factors that has helped in his growth and development will mold the child into one individual different from the other children.  Parents cannot be the only agent for the child’s behavior but they are the most important people who should mold the child to become who he is."

Are parents morally responsible for their child's actions?

http://www.debate.org/opinions/are-parents-morally-responsible-for-their-childs-actions

“We are born with a nature and personality and it is only the knowledge we lack. Some babies are born with a jealous agenda and some with a selfish nature. Can’t blame parents cause its nature.”